Hands of God
by silverwolfcc
Summary: A mystery AU where Zoro is a P.I., Ace works three jobs, and Luffy is a pain in the butt as always. Why does Zoro keep running to Ace? Is it coincidence or something more? Ace/Zoro warning.


It was a dark and stormy morning as Zoro walked into the coffee shop. He glared at the patrons with their lattes and herbal teas. Thunder struck loudly outside as though to reinforce the dramtic samurai sillhouette at the door. His arms folded across the chest, and as he attempted to shake out the rain in his hair, the three golden earrings in one ear clinked together. He opened his mouth to demand a question and information of those around him, but his voice was too quiet and it was lost to the thunder. He gave a manly grunt and walked forward. The man's attempts to query his location fell on deaf ears however, and soon he had no choice but to join the line.

A freckled face greeted Zoro at the end of the line, the first person all morning who wasn't hammering away on an iPhone. "Good morning!" he was too damn cheerful, especially for someone working in this kind of weather, this early in the morning, but Zoro's scowl didn't seem to deter the man at all. "What can I get you this morning, Sir?"

"Where am I?" Zoro growled irritably and flicked his glare around at everyone in the place.

The barista boy's grin didn't even falter. After all, some people really just weren't awake until they had their coffee. "Java Juice and Jumpin' Jamboree! The healthiest way to start your morning!"

"You never told me this was healthy, you bastard!" a scrawny monkey kid bellowed from a nearby table. "Take it back!"

"Go to school, Luffy!" the barista yelled with a snap before going back to grinning so quickly that Zoro practically thought he imagined it. That, or maybe the workers were all brainwashed. Better get his drink to go.

"Err..." he began uncertainly, "Where's the Pineapple Pub?" And what was with all the alliteration on this street?

The barista arched an eyebrow, but seemed to refrain from judging at least. "It's a little early, don't you think? Are you sure you don't want juice instead? A guy like you must work out."

In spite of himself Zoro almost instantly started blushing, and quickly covered it as best as he could with a cough and glancing away outside at the rain, "I have to meet someone there."

The freckled man glanced around behind Zoro at the line to make sure it wasn't too long, but his grin just stayed plastered on. Maybe the coffee here was a narcotic. All the more reason to get one to go. "It's too early for anyone to be there, Sir!"

"Yeah, I know. I just want to make sure I can get there in advance," without getting lost, preferably.

Ace, as Zoro read on the nametag, arched an eyebrow in amusement, but much to Zoro's endless relief, didn't call him on oddity of such a thing. "Two blocks down and on your left. You can't miss it, it's just down the stairs. But since you'll be waiting awhile until then, how about I get you something, yeah?"

"Yeah sure, how about an Irish Bailey's?" Zoro nodded to himself.

Ace gave him a _look_. "Sorry, Sir," the cheerful grin was plastered back on, as Ace started fiddling with the machinery behind the counter, "This establishment does not have a liquor license."

"That's coffee," Zoro sourly griped.

"And whiskey," Ace finished a cup and handed it to the patron behind Zoro. "Your usual, Sir!" he beamed and winked at the man who groggily handed Ace some sort of frequent reward card before heading off with the order he hadn't even needed to order. The whole thing took less than a minute, and by the end of it Zoro still didn't know what to order.

"Get juice!" the hyper monkey-looking kid piped up next to Zoro as he filched something from the countertop.

"_Luffy_," Ace growled firmly, but the kid ignored it, filching more sugar packets and stirrers whenever he could avoid getting smacked by the man behind the counter.

"I don't drink juice," Zoro handed Luffy some cream packets.

Ace gave Zoro an exasperated look for teaming up with the kid, and signaled for the kid to grab his backpack and go to school already.

"Why not?" the boy's face scrunched up in confusion, as if it was the strangest thing in the world, but then he laughed at the cream. "Hahaha Thanks! You're a good guy! Okay! Get milk! It's like meat that you drink!"

"Yeah, okay. I'll get milk," Zoro decided.

Ace's mouth was drawn into a pure straight line, "What kind of milk?"

There were different kinds? They all came from a cow, didn't they? So what did it matter? Well, maybe it really was like meat, but it was all from the same part of the cow, wasn't it? Zoro rolled his eyes, "Whatever."

"Luffy, if you're late for the bell, I'm going to let Gramps have you for dinner," Ace warned, though it sounded hollow, even to Zoro who just met them.

"Stingy," Luffy made a face and pouted irritably at Ace, but scampered off to get his backpack. "You should get whole milk and coffee Mr. Earring Guy!" he yelled before running out the door.

"Zoro. My name's Zoro," he called back quietly before glancing at Ace and folding his arms stubbornly. "Okay, that."

A muscle in Ace's jaw twitched, but he quickly filled Zoro's order and passed over the coffee and whole milk. It was really good, but _really_ expensive. This tip from the informant later better be worth it. "Come again!" Ace called as Zoro turned and headed back out into the rain. Funny, that was the first time Zoro could have sworn that the barista definitely didn't mean it.

Several hours later and Zoro still hadn't found the Pineapple Pub. That stupid Ace barista must have purposely tricked him. It probably wasn't even on this street. He'd been three hours out in the rain and checking in various places on the left (side with the earrings thank you very much) only to be constantly bewildered by how many buildings, shops, and general establishments were all on the left. Beautiful Beaus practically wanted to kidnap him for a makeover, Pirate Pete's wanted to sell him popcorn chicken (for breakfast?), Just Jewelry lied because it tried to sell him a watch to go with his earrings.

And still no sign of that damned pub.

The next place he went in better at least give him directions with no sign of making him buy something, jeez.

Zoro walked in through the glass doors and was instantly greeted with familiar sounds. For a moment, his heart rose as he thought he found a dojo, but after shaking off some of the rainwater, he realized it was just a regular gym. No wait! This was still good. Maybe he could get some job information here instead, and work-out addicts like himself were always more trustworthy than drunks. Well, almost always. After all, there was something to be said for the blatant runaway honesty of a drunk.

"Can I help you?" a woman greeted him at the door.

Almost instantly, Zoro braced himself for one hell of a sales pitch. It had just been one of those days. "Just looking," he grunted, pretty much reflexively at this point.

She grinned weakly, "So you're not a member?"

Zoro wasn't sure if he approved of her restraint in refraining from the dreaded "yet" word or not. "Yeah, not yet," he frowned and cocked his head, earrings chiming softly as he glanced around. "Is it a problem if I look around?"

"I'll do you one better," she grinned, more genuinely this time now that he'd used the dreaded word 'yet,' "Free trial offer for a day. It even comes with a free massage so you can explore the facilities."

Okay, even Zoro had to admit that was one hell of a good sales pitch. He did his best to downplay the enthusiasm and not look too eager, but he couldn't quite hide the widening eyes, even by looking away. "Uh, yeah, sure, that'd be... fine," he grunted in acknowledgement.

The woman gave a much slier grin and gesture with her bow, "Right this way." To Zoro's dismay, she led him past several workout rooms, past the saunas, and straight to the massage room. Damn, not even the locker room?

Zoro tried to hide how flustered he was, "What about exploring?"

"The masseur will take care of that," she explained sounding rather perfunctory about the whole thing.

It gave Zoro the chills, not that he would show it. That better not be some disturbing double entendre or other creepy bullshit. "And by that you mean...?" yeah this wasn't something Zoro could just let go.

She grinned, that smug grin of a witch who definitely knew something he didn't and liked flaunting it. "He will help you give the full tour after the massage," she led him inside a room and set up some basic relaxing things typical of Japanese-style dojo or spas. Even Zoro had to give it some grudging respect for that. And was that real bamboo in the corner? "Make yourself comfortable, please!" and with that she left.

Comfortable. Right. Damn it. He just wanted directions. Or information. Now he was getting a massage and - wait, wasn't that a good thing? Zoro sat in a corner near a fake stone waterfall and quietly meditated. It was kind of funny with all the rain outside, but it was nice too, so he didn't question it too deeply. He was nearly in a trance by the time the masseur came in. Zoro didn't open his eyes or stop meditating. Nor did he speak up.

The man let out a quiet laugh. "You look relaxed. Would you rather I not disrupt you just yet?"

The voice sounded familiar and Zoro was tempted to take a peek, but if he did, he knew he'd disrupt his flow of concentration. So he nodded slightly to signify that this wouldn't take long.

"Awesome," the voice said, moving about the room with sheets and things. Zoro's eyes nearly fluttered with the desire to figure out who this was, but he ignored it and regained his focus. At least, until the masseur sat down next to him. What a restless guy. "Ahh?" the masseur seemed to notice Zoro was losing his focus again, "Don't mind me. I just figured I'd join you."

Zoro nodded again to allow the intrusion and soon regained his flow soon enough though he had to adjust to the other man's breathing beside him. At least they didn't seem like a complete novice to the practice, even if they were a bit restless. After a few more minutes Zoro finished and opened his eyes, moving his hands off his knees to get ready to get up.

"Oh, all done?" the kid opened an eye to peer back at Zoro.

No, not a kid. The freckles threw Zoro for a loop for a second. Wait a second... freckles? That damn barista boy who gave him shitty directions?! "Wait a second..." Zoro hesitated.

Ace grinned a little too broadly for Zoro's comfort. This one looked a lot less plastered on though, and a touch demonic. Ironically, it was the diabolical edge to it that made Zoro a little more comfortable about the damned thing, even if it was still too shitty of a day to be smiling that damn much. "Zoro, the Not-Earring Guy," Ace offered him a handshake or a hand up from their meditative positions. Maybe both, given this guy. "I thought I recognized that hair." Green hair was a bit of a give away, Zoro had to admit. "I hope you don't mind that I'll be your masseur and tour guide this afternoon." Zoro minded. Why was this guy here again?! What the hell was his deal?! Well at least this was a chance to pay him back for those lousy directions. "Were you able to find the pub?"

"No!" Zoro scowled, "Your directions sucked."

Ace's grin didn't even falter, but it looked like he was repressing an urge to do violence, which sent an electric thrill of anticipation through Zoro for a moment. Yeah right. If_ only_. "Did they? I'm sorry," Ace drawled quietly with a bow of his head which didn't show an inkling of deferrence despite all the strange sincerity about it again. Seriously, what was with this guy? And what kind of barista boy was also a massuer? "May I ask where you wound up?"

Zoro flushed in embarrassment and glanced away though he did accept the hand up. "Everywhere," he huffed reluctantly. And that was certainly true enough. "But I came here on purpose," that was not so true.

The masseur didn't bother calling him on it however, just quietly tsked to himself and made up his mind about something. "Very well then, I'll just show you the way myself whenever you're ready."

"Aren't you working?" Zoro was a bit confused.

"Yes, but after here, I go over to the pub for my second job, so I can lead the way then and you'll even get there a little bit early," Ace explained confidently as he led the way to the massage table with a couple of pats for Zoro to hop up at his leisure.

"Isn't this your second job?" Zoro's face scrunched up.

The freckled kid - man, grinned right back, "Nah, the juice and java is part of the spa. Morning shifts they need the extra help on coffee though." Another grin, and Ace pushed far too long bangs out of the way of his face. "That's why they started offering free massages and tours. More people came for the coffee than for working out."

Aha. Of course. So here was the sales pitch. Wait. What kind of a city was this when people cared more about that super expensive brew than working out? Their priorities were all backwards. Zoro grunted and hopped up onto the massage table. Ace gestured for him to lay down and get comfortable, and after shifting and debating a million ways how to correctly do that, Zoro finally laid down on his front with exposed shoulders. "No offense to your massage skills, but I'm pretty sure I'd join for the sake of a the gym, not the extra stuff." A pause, "Not that I'm agreeing to join or anything."

Ace laughed evilly, "I'm sure Jozu will be thrilled. His evil plan is working." Zoro grunted reluctantly in response and Ace did his best to warm up his hands and get the right oil on them ready. "Are you one of those guys who prefers conversation or peace and quiet?" Ace asked calmly as he began gently with the very top of Zoro's shoulders. Almost immediately, Zoro wanted to bolt. Why was he getting a massage again? He just came in for directions! And then maybe a tip or a chance to work out - damn it!

"Hey," Ace said soothingly. It was strange. It actually _was_ soothing. Like the kind of a voice that even a horse about to bolt and buck in a total freak out would calm down from. "Relax," Ace continued almost hypnotically and traced a finger down the center of Zoro's neck. Zoro almost instantly melted. He wouldn't normally, he promised himself, but he didn't even know how tense he'd been until that moment.

"There, see? Isn't that better?" Ace asked warmly in a voice smoother than even the damn good, but expensive coffees he made. Zoro grunted reluctantly in acknowledgement. Okay. It was good. Relaxing. Better than even meditation, as much as he didn't want to admit it. "Good," the masseur practically purred, "Now like I was saying, I'll go at your pace. A good massage is like a good workout. It might push the limits, but you need to stay within your comfort zones."

Zoro gave another grunt. It made sense to him, even if usually he had a broader range of comfort zones than most people would consider healthy, but that's because they were wusses.

"So let me know if there's something you don't like, but don't be afraid to find your limits either," Ace explained in that damn hot voice. Zoro decided two things right then and there. One, men shouldn't be allowed a voice like that, like coffee and caramel, and that could soothe wild animals. And two, he could handle whatever Ace did, just to prove he didn't have limits. If a massage was like a workout then Zoro wanted to work well past the point of burning. "And the amount of talking works the same way. Some people find it more relaxing to have chatter, some people prefer complete silence. Whichever you like, let me know."

If the voice was hot, Zoro had underestimated the other man's fingertips. They started at the sides of the base to his skull in light circle and slowly slid down his neck to the shoulders. It was like everything good and relaxing about meditating under waterfalls and a hot spring at once. This had to be cheating somehow. "Your voice is fine," the words slipped out of Zoro before he could take them back, but he had meant to say them. So long as Ace kept talking, maybe he could get the information he was looking for without even dealing with other people. "What kind of gyms do you have here?"

"Pretty much everything," Ace replied calmly as his fingertips worked the tension out of the shoulder tops and towards the spine. "Weights, rowing, bike machines, and those are just the more aggressive kinds. We even have a dojo in the back and some rooms slotted specifically for fencing. Oh, and rock climbing. My little brother, the damned monkey you helped pilfer creams and sugar for this morning - yes I saw you, don't even pretend otherwise - loves the rock climbing wall best." Zoro didn't bother denying the accusation, just grinned quietly to himself. "So what's your pleasure as far as sports go?"

Everything. That wasn't much of an answer, and Zoro could tell Ace meant specifically, but he couldn't exactly shrug either. Ace seemed to sense that he was tensing up so he gently worked out a few more of the kinks and continued talking, waiting for Zoro to get more comfortable first.

"I'm kind of into everything myself," Ace said as though reading Zoro's mind. "Swimming, fighting, weights, balance, rowing, sailing, bungee-jumping, skateboarding-"

Those last three didn't fit a gym, no matter what the facilities were like. Zoro started to lift his head to turn around to look at Ace, but he could only turn it so far, so he just grunted, and skeptically added, "In a gym?"

Ace laughed softly and kneaded Zoro's shoulders, provoking an almost embarrassing groan of relief. "Just checking to make sure you were listening," he answered in that warm voice like coffee. "I do like all those things, but obviously a lot of them require weekends trips." Zoro grunted as Ace dug his fingers in a little heavier, getting deep into the muscle now. "So how about you, Tiger? Anything specific?"

Zoro wasn't sure how he felt about being randomly nicknamed, but then, he'd been nicknamed worse before. At least it wasn't Zozo. And he was pretty sure it was an upgrade from just being called Earring-Guy like before. "A little bit of everything," Zoro started to twist his head to look back again, but Ace gently stroked the middle of his neck again and Zoro turned into complete putty on the massage table. "Mn... I like fencing and fighting and weights I guess. Things with an edge or competition or-" he found himself inexplicably incapable of talking any further and just did his best to stifle an all too embarrassing moan.

"Then you'll love it here. I know just the rooms to show you," Ace purred quietly, happily kneading out even more kinks now that he could find them. Damn him, those fingers were good. "We also have more Japanese styled rooms if you like this one." Zoro could only groan in response. Luckily, Ace took that for the yes it was meant to be. "We also have some saunas if you're interested," Ace purred again in that damn voice.

Zoro let out another grunt. The fingers were working deeper into the muscles now and Zoro was starting to see what other people saw in massages. This was something worth getting used to. "And would you show me those personally?" He couldn't see the masseur's face, but rather _felt_ the grin wafting from him. It had to be his imagination, the rush of adrenaline like from feeling a strong foe's bloodlust in a fight, it was just too out of context to be the case.

"I could manage that," Ace's liquid voice slid down Zoro's spine straight to his ass like those almost too-warm fingers.

Not even caring about how obvious it might be, Zoro bit the pillow beneath him. Like _hell_ was he going to make even one more of those embarrassing sounds. Like another man's fingers on his back could affect him like that. _Hah._ Besides, it wasn't the massage as much as how he couldn't even tell if the other guy was flirting. Probably not, right? Random strangers just didn't do that.

"Hah yeah, you have a lot of tension here, you must be a swordsman, right?" Ace's hands worked Zoro's deltoids like a panther kneading at a tree. Oh god it felt good, and it was taking all of Zoro's willpower not to groan. "Sabres or foils?"

_Carefully_, Zoro let the pillow out of his mouth and shot Ace a glance, as much as he cold from the angle. "Neither," he grunted darkly, "Katanas." He really didn't trust himself to speak much beyond that.

Something flickered in Ace's eyes. Recognition? A challenge? Zoro couldn't place it. But whatever it was, the masseur hummed quietly and continued working his way down and then back to the center along Zoro's spine. He did some sort of trick with Zoro's neck again to make him relax and Zoro let himself fully become putty on the table all over again. "I see~" Ace's voice seemed to dance, like a summer breeze over blades of grass. "Japanese style, but that's certainly rare. You don't meet many sportsman who do kendo instead of Olympic style fencing. Let's see, katanas are for two hands so the balance should be down-" The fingers glided all the way down to just above Zoro's ass, and the green-haired man was uncomfortably aware of just where those fingers were positioned. Before he could say or do anything though, Ace professionally slid his fingers to the sides and gently pressed along a few key muscles.

If Zoro had expected men to be looser in the gym than at a bar, he was definitely right about that, but he hadn't expected himself to be one of them. The gasp and resounding groan made him wonder if he'd been replaced with someone weaker about such things, but _god damn. _Okay, whoever Jozu was won. Because if Ace could do this on Zoro, then surely anyone who got a massage out of this guy would sign up for life. Zoro wasn't even sure how long he'd be in the city, but he was considering it already.

There was a throaty chuckle from Ace, and Zoro flushed in embarrassment all over again. He wanted to hide. Or to steal those hands for himself. One of those. "Good," Ace laughed quietly, "I love when I'm right. You need to work on some relaxation methods though, you could kill yourself carrying around that much stress. It won't do your muscles any favors either. It keeps them too stiff so they won't be able to rebuild as much as you'd like." Normally Zoro would have informed anyone that it wasn't their damn business, and also he was just fine, but he was seriously finding it hard to argue with this man just now. "Meditation should do fine, but do you do anything else to relax?"

Zoro had never needed to before. He really wasn't that tense. He was pretty sure. "Sorry, it's my first time," he explained the nervousness about the massage. That was probably where most of the tension came from.

Once again, Zoro couldn't see the grin, but he could swear he felt it travel up the back of his neck like a warning. "Now where have I heard that before?" Zoro couldn't comment, just felt his cheeks flush. Was this guy doing it on purpose? Strange guy. "Sorry, sorry," Ace explained cheerfully, "My little joke. Now let's see, this area might be a little tender, but it shouldn't ever hurt, and if you're uncomfortable, say the word and I'll stop."

Whatever. Zoro had already decided he was going to prove his pain tolerance-

It didn't hurt.

It didn't hurt at all.

The fingers were warm, but Zoro's muscles under them just seemed to melt like butter under a very hot knife. It felt amazing. Ace's talents were wasted on coffee, no matter how good. The man seemed to understand each and every sinew of the muscle and used it to create lines down to make the tension just melt away. Zoro didn't even need to groan anymore, not that he'd ever wanted to in the first place, but it was like places he didn't even know had been stiff before suddenly became limber. So what the hell was Ace warning him about?

Oh.

Zoro bit his bottom lip as the hands slid all the tension into his ass, then back up and around.

"Sorry," Ace laughed softly again, "Normally I wouldn't on such a shy guy, but I'd just feel guilty knowing all this tension was here and leaving it, yeah?"

"I'm not a shy guy," Zoro growled. Hey, he could growl again. And the wound that had been aching for the last two years every time it rained wasn't even throbbing. This was some weird voodoo magic.

"No?" Ace sounded amused.

"No," Zoro insisted as grumpily as he could.

"Hm," Ace hummed, clearly more focused on the muscles now than putting Zoro at ease, which made sense. Somehow his hands were _everywhere_. Zoro had to keep his focus from wandering into wondering what this guy must be like in bed. Strange guy. _Strong guy,_ given the way those hands were working out the tension, but strange too. Zoro couldn't pin him down, and usually he could get a good beat on anyone. "What would you call it then?"

"Well, I wouldn't call it _shy_," Zoro huffed.

This time Zoro could see the grin, but it wasn't anything weird, and it didn't make his blood boil. It was just a sarcastic kind of smirk with hooded eyes. Clearly, the man was thinking more than he let on, but still, it wasn't anything too out of the ordinary anyway. Except for the words. "So you don't mind my hands there?" With that kind of a question, that diabolical grin from before would have fit better. Something _obviously_ teasing. Like this, Zoro couldn't even tell if he was being made fun of or flirted with, or he was just straight up being paranoid. Freckled bastard. At least inflect some sort of emotion if you're going to say things like that so casually.

Besides, how the hell _could_ he reply to a question like that? It was pointless to lie, and embarrassing to say it was fine. "Why would I?" Zoro forced a scowl on purpose.

That probably wasn't the best reaction though, since Ace took it to mean that he was tensing up again and needed to be helped to relax. Warm fingers massaged the swordsman's neck, and Zoro instantly melted with another groan. He had to stop that. Eventually... someday.

"Just checking~!" Ace laughed cheerily in a sing-song way. It shouldn't have put Zoro at ease, but it did. Everything about this guy seemed to do that slowly. In spite of Zoro's best efforts. "So let's see," Ace worked his way back down to Zoro's ass, and Zoro in return just did his best not to blush, "Relaxing things other than sports and meditation... what's your favorite drink?"

"What?" Zoro mumbled a little distracted, reasonably so, by the hands on his back and spine.

"Well, you got coffee, there's sports drink smoothies here, and you're planning on staking out a bar later," Ace reasoned.

Zoro huffed, "'M not staking out anything," he growled.

"Whatever you say. Getting a drink then," Ace answered

"Rum, sake, beer, ale, anything really," Zoro shrugged and tried to roll his shoulders.

"Oh good," Ace kneaded the small of Zoro's back, "Then I know what to buy you later."

Zoro didn't know what to say to that. Weren't patrons supposed to tip their masseurs? "What?"

"Nothing," Ace laughed, his voice all sing-song teasing again. Bastard.

"Is that a-" Date? Promise? Shouldn't Zoro buy Ace a drink, not the other way around? "Are you hitting on me?" He really wished he could say that without his face burning. Too red, too embarrassing. There was no way this guy was. It was just the situation. Definitely. And even if he was hitting on him, it was no big deal, he would just turn him down.

Ace hummed, "Would you hate it if I was?"

Zoro grunted and was forced to admit, "No, but I should be buying you the drink for all this."

Ace laughed again, and it only made Zoro's blush worse. "I'd say you have a deal, but I'll be working, remember?"

Shifting to try to get comfortable again, Zoro snorted quietly. He did remember, but, "That only means you need the drink even more." Looking back at Ace was probably a bad idea with his cheeks still red, but he couldn't resist it. He wanted to get a better beat on the other man's face.

The Cheshire cat grin that spread over Ace's face made Zoro think twice, about everything he'd ever known, or thought he knew. "In that case you better stay all the way to closing time and I'll take you up on it."

There was definitely something predatory about that grin, but it wasn't unwanted either. "You have yourself a deal," Zoro grunted, and turned back around, resting and relaxing with his chin between his arms.


End file.
